These are the Focus on the Family Institute Students who we trained in Colorado. We took them onto campus with us and they did a great job!
My first conversation at UC Boulder: An older man who looked like a professor walked by the exhibit and said to me, "I wish I could just tear this whole thing down. You are horrible people." I said, "Well, I'd love to talk to you, or you are welcome to write a comment on the free speech board." He said he would consider it and started to walk away. Then, he turned back toward the board and asked for a marker. I wasn't even finished setting up the board yet, so I had to run grab a marker for him. He was standing there looking at the board (I assume trying to figure out what he was going to write) and I asked him, "What bothers you so much about this exhibit?"
Jeffrey: It is so graphic!
Me: Yeah, it definitely is. I hate to look at it.
Jeffrey: You do?! Well, me too! This is really just trying to scare people out of having sex.
Me: What makes you say that?
Jeffrey: That's your goal.
Me: Do you think that we care about abortion?
Jeffrey: I guess. But this is a horrible way to make your point. Last time you guys came, girls were coming into my classes crying. These images are raping them.
Me: I'm sorry that these images are painful for people to look at. But, do you think it might be hard to look at because we realize it is an injustice?
Jeffrey: That could be.
(We talked for quite a while. Then Jeffrey said he had to go teach. He asked for a copy of the exhibit brochure.)
Jeffrey: I hate this Exhibit and what you guys do, but I really enjoyed our conversation and I guess we wouldn't have had it without this.
A few girls were doing an assignment for their communications class where they were told to analyze the Exhibit and see if they thought it was effective. One of them said, "We thought you guys would be a bunch of crazies, but you are totally chill. I actually really like this. It has caused a lot of discussion."
Hillary was signing "yes" to the poll, "should abortion remain legal?"
Me: Do you mean through all 9 months?
Hillary: No, only first trimester. I'm against killing babies, but sometimes you have to.
Me: Sometimes you have to kill babies? Do you know anyone who's had an abortion?
Hillary: I have.
Me: You have known someone, or you have had an abortion?
Hillary: I had one. But it was a long time ago, in October.
Me: How are you doing?
Hillary: Fine. I know it was the best decision. I'm in school. If I hadn't had the abortion, I would be having a baby in a month!
(I talked to her about possible symptoms of PAS that she might experience and offered to walk with her to talk to another woman who had had an abortion- at the pregnancy center table. She declined and said that she was fine but thanked me for the information.)
A girl wearing a St. John's shirt yelled to me, "You are a disgrace to Catholicism."
Me: How so?
Girl: Because you are out here with this.
Me: What does that have to do with Catholicism?
Girl: You are Catholic.
Me: No, I'm not...
Girl: Then why are you out here?!
Me: Because I believe that all human beings are valuable.
Girl: I don't understand you people.
There was a pro-life group on campus that did not want us to come. But, other pro-life students started a group to bring us. I spoke with a girl from the group that did not want us there.
Girl: How did you guys get here?
Me: The other pro-life group invited us.
Girl: What?! They are like encroaching on our territory. You guys asked us first.
Me: Yes, and you said no...I can understand that you did not want to be associated with this, but is it such a bad thing that another group was willing to step up and make an impact?
Girl: WE are the pro-life club though. We don't need another one.
Me: Well, there were a lot of people who needed to see this. I've talked to several people today who changed their minds and they said they had never seen these pictures. They would not have seen them if the group had not brought us. But maybe, you guys could join together or something.
Kate was the most angry person I've ever spoken to on any campus. She made personal attacks whenever possible and yelled loud enough for people quite a distance away to hear. We had a crowd of about 10 people listening to this conversation:
Kate: This is all false information!
Me: What do you mean?
Kate: Abortion is not allowed after first trimester!
Me: Actually, it is legal through all 9 months. There is even a doctor just minutes from here who does late-term abortions.
Kate: That's not true. Check your facts, you liars.
Me: If it were true, would it bother you?
Kate: WHAT BOTHERS ME IS THAT YOU PEOPLE BROUGHT THIS HORRIBLE BILLBOARD. WHAT ABOUT WOMEN WHO HAVE HAD ABORTIONS AND IT WAS HORRIBLE AND IT WAS THE HARDEST DECISION OF THEIR LIVES AND YOU GUYS ARE CALLING THEM STUPID BIMBOS. YOU ARE MAKING THEM RELIVE EVERY SECOND OF THAT HORRIBLE TIME IN THEIR LIVES. HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT? YOU ARE JUST TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL GUILTY. I HAVEN'T HAD AN ABORTION, BUT IF I GOT PREGNANT, I WOULD. THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR A BABY. YOU ARE SUCH HORRIBLE PEOPLE FOR DOING THIS. YOU RUINED MY DAY.
Me: I'm sor..
Kate: No you're not! One of my friends wanted an abortion and they would not let her get one. It was horrible for her.
Me: So, she has a child now?
Kate: ...um... yeah.. and she hates him!
Me: Hmm.
Kate: I hate you.
Me: I know that this is upsetting and I completely understand you hating me.
Kate: No, you don't understand how much I hate you.
(The "conversation" continued about like this the whole time. Kate yelled at me and I listened. I've never seen anyone so angry before. I've also never felt so hated. I never got to really talk to Kate about it. She stormed off after yelling for a LONG time. I asked one of the girls we trained at Focus on the Family to come inside with me and pray for Kate. I don't know if we'll ever know any results, but I know that God is faithful and he will continue to knock on Kate's heart. Please pray for her.
Jon and a girl named Melissa had been talking for a while in the freezing cold rain. He had an umbrella and she was wearing a hoodie. It finally got to a point in their conversation where she said, "no offense, but you can't really have an opinion, you're a guy." So, I decided to walk over and listen closer, maybe even participate...
I walked over and held an umbrella over Melissa. She seemed really touched.
Melissa: Thank you so much!
Me: You're welcome.
Melissa: (to Jon again) This is a women's issue and I have studied it a lot. We can all have our own opinions. I won't judge you for yours and you don't have to worry about mine.
Jon and Melissa talked for a little while longer and she brought up Women's Studies as her major.
Jon excused himself from the conversation to do something else and I asked Melissa what she had learned from those studies.
Melissa: People are always trying to keep women down. This is one of our few rights that we have gained and now they want to take it away.
Me: I took several Women's studies classes, too. I thought it was interesting how we as women often allow ourselves to be oppressed, like with the beauty myth (a women's studies term for women trying to earn achievement through their looks and then being treated like they are only valuable if they are attractive).
Melissa: Yeah.
Me: I want women to have the best options. Could this be another way that women are actually allowing themselves to be hurt?
Melissa: How so?
Me: Well, there are a lot side effects- both physical and emotional.
Melissa: Yeah, my friend had an abortion and she was sick for a little while.
Me: How is she doing?
Melissa: She is doing OK. Thank you so much for asking.
Me: How long ago was it?
Melissa: 2 years. We were in the sorority house and I was the only one who stayed her while she was in pain.
Me: Melissa, I am glad you were there for her afterward.
Melissa: Yeah, but she's fine now.
Me: There was a girl who came by today and told us that her friend had been raped by her boyfriend and her parents forced her to get an abortion even though she didn't want to. She became very depressed and stopped answering phone calls. She committed suicide two weeks ago. Many women who have had abortions feel guilt or depression. Some have trouble sleeping. It is important to really be aware of these symptoms so that if you see your friend experiencing any of them, you can help her. She might not even realize that the symptoms correlate with her abortion.
Melissa took the information about symptoms and the information for the pregnancy resource center's post abortion counseling. She thanked me several times.
(Pictured here: JFA team, mission trip participants, and volunteers)
